The internet has spoken against a woman who called her mother-in-law controlling for buying her child nappies and toiletries that she doesn't use or want.

In a post shared on Mumsnet earlier in December, under the username Santaslittlehelper83, the new mom wrote that, since her second child was born four months ago, her mother-in-law, who has a history of controlling and manipulative behavior, has been bringing over unwanted gifts and won't stop, even after being told so.

A survey by the Mother-in-law Project shows that three-quarters of mothers-in-law say they are satisfied or very satisfied with their relationship with their daughter-in-law, and only 5 percent are dissatisfied or very dissatisfied.

However, the picture with daughters-in-law isn't as great. In fact, 20 percent of them say they are dissatisfied or very dissatisfied with their mother-in-law relationship.

The Mumsnet poster wrote that her mother-in-law has been gifting them items such as nappies, wipes, and toiletries that are not the right size or brand for her son, and often give him a rash. While she and her husband have been "gracious" about it, and have sometimes accepted the gifts, they also asked her to stop, but she ignored them.

The mom wrote: "It's not like we can't afford these things ourselves and she has never asked us what would be useful/needed. Just something really rubs me up the wrong way about this, but I am massively sleep-deprived."

Smriti Joshi, chief psychologist at Wysa, a leading AI-guided mental-health platform, told Newsweek that the woman may be getting anxious about the expectations her mother-in-law would be building of her or her husband.

"Mothers-in-law can usually behave like this, not because they think they know more given their age and experience. This could be her way of reminding them of her presence and 'superior' position in their lives."

According to Joshi, it's best to thank her for her kindness but also remind her that the woman and her husband would be happier and more grateful if she could check in with them to see what they need, what they already have, and what they would like for their baby.

Joshi added: "Husband and wife can take comfort in knowing they are on the same page and work together to gently establish and maintain boundaries so the mother-in-law's manipulative behavior doesn't cause relationship issues down the road."

Most Mumsnet users thought the mom was being unreasonable and she's just overthinking this entire situation.

One user, miceonabranch, commented: "Just accept them then donate them to a food bank. She's happy, the food bank are happy and you don't have to have the house cluttered up with random stuff."

Poster jelly79 added: "Let her contribute and be gracious - choose your battles," while SleeplessInEngland wrote: She may be controlling in other areas but I think you're misusing the word in this example. Just accept the gifts and give them away elsewhere.

Another user, TheLittlestLightOnTheXmasTree, wrote: "Sounds like she's trying to be helpful with useful items. No need to be so harsh and nasty about her." And Zooeyzo posted: "Can't you swap them at the shop? She's probably trying to be helpful."

Newsweek was not able to verify the details of the case.

If you have a similar family dilemma, let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.

Uncommon Knowledge

Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.

Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.

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